'I'm a parent too!'
Welcome to our Substack newsletter!
We are two researchers from Mount Royal University who are concerned about the negative impacts of the ‘parental rights’ movement, especially in the Alberta context. We have set out to capture and better understand how increasing anti-2SLGBTQIA+ sentiments, and the province’s legislative efforts to curtail inclusion in education, healthcare and sports, are impacting the day-to-day lives of queer families.
The slate of new policies about to be introduced in Alberta by the UCP government have been critiqued extensively by experts and professional associations for ignoring evidence-based research. We’ve offered our own analysis of these proposed policies, which you can read in The Conversation. Even though doctors, nurses, teachers, and sports leaders have all called the UCPs proposals harmful— and even deadly— the Alberta Conservative government is charging ahead and is expected to table legislation later this month.
Set in Calgary, Alberta, our study involves 10 parents from queer families who have committed to bi-monthly focus groups over the period of a year. By facilitating conversations with these parents, our aim is to track the short and long-term impacts of the anti-2LSGBTQIA+ climate in Alberta.
The parents in our study are a mix of straight, cisgender, queer, and trans parents. Some are connected to queer communities, and some have no connection at all. Some work in the fields of healthcare and education, and some work in the private sector. All of them are already experiencing the negative outcomes of Alberta’s move to legislate 2SLGBTQIA+ lives.
In late September 2024, we met with these parents for our first focus group where we talked about their concerns related to impending changes to education, healthcare, and sports. We asked parents what they knew about the ‘parental rights’ movement, and how the rhetoric of ‘parental rights’ is affecting their lives and the lives of their 2SLGBTQIA+ children.
In what follows, we outline the key findings from this initial conversation.
*Please note that this newsletter uses pseudonyms in order to protect the anonymity and confidentiality of our participants.
I’m a parent, too
One of the overwhelming sentiments of parents in our focus group was that the ‘parental rights’ movement excluded parents of 2SLGBTQIA+ kids. Many were motivated to participate in our focus groups because the voices of 2SLGBTQIA+ parents and families have been missing or silenced in the conversations around ‘protecting children.’
“There needs to be more representation of the parents especially because it's a legislation that's being fought on behalf of parents so we need to make our voices heard.” - Maia
“I feel like people keep talking for parents. I'm a parent and you're not saying anything I think… so I just feel very unheard.” - Olivia
For the parents, the motivation of the ‘parental rights’ movement is to “emote a feeling a reaction from parents” in order to create “a false panic, a false crisis” about what is being taught in schools, to question if kids are safe in sports, and to make it seem like trans kids are being pushed into transitioning.
With the focus (seemingly) on ‘parental choice,’ parents in the group remarked that their choice to support their 2SLGBTQIA+ kids was not being protected. In fact, their responsibility to protect their children from harm is being taken away by the provincial government that is making choices for their families.
“It makes me really angry that our kid’s medical care can be adjusted based on the government. I work in healthcare. The thought that the government could step in and get a doctor to go against evidence-based medical care is… insanity. It makes me rage. It's unbelievable that a government can intervene and get a doctor to go against evidence-based practice. It blows my mind.”- Courtney
From inclusion to despair
Many of the parents in the group commented on the major changes to the social climate in Alberta already occurring because of the impact of the ‘parental rights’ movement. As Courtney put it, “it feels like it's coming like a tidal wave.”
Courtney, a parent of an 8 year-old trans child, spoke about her mostly positive experience around her child coming out as trans, which has “completely changed course” since the announcement.
“It felt hopeful at that time. Fast forward to now and it's been such a 180. The rug [has been] pulled out from under you, and then there's fear.”
She described the recent changes in the province as “rolling back 20 years in a span of six months.”
Another parent, Olivia, spoke about her child who began to identify as a girl at 3 years old. Olivia’s child experienced a lot of support from family and community.
“When she was three, she was very clear that she wanted to use she/her pronouns– like everything was just clear and it all just seemed totally fine. It seemed fine at her play-school… it wasn't even a blip.”
The recent targeting of trans children and youth has left Olivia feeling really “blindsided.”
Losing safe spaces
Many of the parents we spoke to talked about the loss of safety in spaces since the announcement. Maia remarked that they’ve already noticed that 2SLGBTQIA+ affirming posters and rainbow stickers that were once up around their kids’ school and in teacher’s classrooms have been taken down, adding to the growing climate of hostility in the region.
“I've seen the few stickers or posters that were up come down little by little. I think we're down to like 2 stickers.”
Maia’s child once shared her trans identity freely and confidently with peers at school.
“For her own journey being trans is like her having brown hair or liking green Skittles, and so it's something that she shares readily and easily especially in school settings– if anything comes up remotely connected to it she's always shared freely.”
And now as a parent, Maia feels a sense of danger around her child being so ‘out’ and proud. Because of the loss of safe spaces, Maia said it is a “delicate balance” for the family to decide how, when, and with whom to share this information.
Courtney expressed similar experiences. Courtney's youngest child is neurodivergent and is known for “running around talking about trans stuff.” Trying to explain this new hostile climate to this child has been incredibly difficult, “how do you get a 10 year old autistic kid to understand the danger that they're putting themselves in and putting their family in?”
What is most concerning for the parents in our group is that other parents are being “fired up in their anti-trans rhetoric because of what they're hearing– because of the misinformation and disinformation being spread” which is putting kids at even more risk of harm.
“So now when a kid gets outed by a teacher what does that mean for this kid? What does it mean for [their] safety? What does it mean for the environment they are living in? - Courtney
For Olivia, the recent rise in anti-2SLGBTQIA+ hostility has not only affected her trans child, but 2SLGBTQIA+ extended family members who are now under new scrutiny, too.
“This rhetoric isn't just about trans people. My brother-in-law is gay and has a husband, and there's rhetoric around not being able to talk [openly] about that. Our kids are kind of like, ‘what's wrong with my uncles? Why can't we talk about them?’ There is so much negativity. It was moving in the right direction, and now it feels like it's going downhill really fast and we're not sure like where we're going to end up.”
As Maia put it, the “loss of joy and space to breathe freely” for queer families is palpable.
To stay (and fight), or to go?
Multiple families in our focus group talked about conversations they were having as a family about whether to stay in the province and work toward change, or if they needed to leave the province for their own safety and to ensure that their child is able to access the medical care they need.
Due to anti-trans legislation in the US, some are calling the movement of families between states in order to seek safety and healthcare an “internal displacement.” According to a survey by Data for Progress, 8% of all transgender people have already moved out of their community or state as a result of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation while an additional 43% of transgender people are likewise considering moving. Given that trans people account for 0.5-1% of the population of the United States, this means that 130-260,000 transgender people have already fled their home states. For others, seeking asylum in other countries that are more affirming isn’t off the table.
Refuting the rhetoric that trans kids are getting trans healthcare too quickly, Courtney reminded the group that moving out of the province won’t necessarily secure care.
“Every gender clinic in the country has a two year waiting list, so even if we move to another province , we couldn't get into care right away. I need to be thinking 10 steps ahead.”
Some parents in our study are already looking outside of Canada to obtain gender-affirming care. Fearing that a federal Conservative government might come into power, Olivia and her husband are already looking to private healthcare options in the United States and Europe.
Families that are unable to leave Alberta are feeling the ‘parental rights’ movement’s influence in the province. Maia is now devoting significant time and energy vetting professionals in her daughter's life to ensure they are safe: “It's like having to research everything, and you can’t just read their website. You have to go through their social media to see what they are liking.” For Maia, she has needed to “revert to survival mode.”
The kids are not alright
According to the parents in our study, the impending legislation has stoked so much fear and anxiety in their children that their school experiences have already been negatively affected.
For Courtney, her trans child has missed at least 40% of school since the announcement of impending anti-2SLGBTQIA+ policies last February.
According to Sophia, her trans child is about to graduate high school, but her anxiety about the state of the province is causing her grades to fall, which will have a direct impact the possibility of her being accepted to her university of choice. For this young trans woman, moving out of province for university is a much needed life-line.
“Any slipping in her grades now affects that chance for her. So for her not to be able to concentrate at school because she's worried that her human rights and her friends human rights are going to be taken away… adding to fact that she might not be able to go on and change the world and have the career she wants because she can't fully dedicate herself to school because the government is like playing with her human rights. It just makes me ill.”
Sophia told us that her teenager's overall wellbeing has “deteriorated” since the impending legislation was announced in February this year.
“She has started self harming. She is missing school. She is terrified for what's coming next month, even though she knows that for her she's somewhat protected with her HRT [hormone replacement therapy], but it doesn't mean that they're not going to say something about bathrooms or that her friends are safe.”
Emma, a parent of multiple 2SLGBTQIA+ children told us that while their children feel well-supported by family, they are deeply scared for their friends who aren’t out to their parents and who don’t have a supportive homelife.
“This legislation impacts my children and my children's friends, and so my house has become like ‘the queer mom house’ where all the kids who don't have safe places or safe families– they end up at my house.”
Ellie, who is both a teacher and a parent, worries about the dire consequences to kids stemming from the government's anti-trans rhetoric:
“I work at a school, and I know all of the trans kids. More than half of them are not out to their parents. There's about twenty of them, and after this law passes– there's no way I see all of them graduate. It's not possible. People will die.”
From one queer parent to another
At the end of our first focus group, we asked parents what resources they needed at this time to navigate all that they are up against as parents in this province. Instead, they wanted to give advice to other parents who find themselves in similar circumstances.
Parents in our study want to remind other parents that social change happens on the streets and in letter writing campaigns, but also at a smaller scale. Correcting misinformation and telling personal stories are legitimate forms of protest. As Courtney put it, “It is hard to hate people up close.”
Parents in the group also want to remind other parents in queer families to lean into small pockets of connection and joy, especially with children. Queer families, and especially trans kids, need a break from all the negativity surrounding them right now.
And, on the topic of joy, parents in our study highly recommend dancing it out to Chappel Roan!